


All's Fair in Love and War

by Kimmy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: It was supposed to be a perfect date night.





	1. Chapter 1

Magnus opened the door and smiled, kissing his mother in law on the cheek as he let her in.

 

"Robert is trying to find a parking space. I am still not sure I forgive you for introducing him to the bloody things. We could have just used the portal at the Institute."

 

Magnus just laughed at her, helping her take off her coat.

 

His relationship with Alec's parents had improved considerably in the past few years, the Lightwoods putting a lot of effort into fixing their own relationship as well as that with their children. Magnus and Alec providing them with grandchildren only helped push it forward even more. Robert was clearly confused by a lot of things but was trying his best to understand and Maryse was a strong woman, not afraid to admit her mistakes and ask not to forget but to forgive.

 

As they turned their steps towards the living room, a little blue torpedo of energy was seen flying in their direction, centering the attack on Maryse's legs.

 

"Grandma!"

 

Magnus smiled, turning to the kitchen to meet Alec there. Family visits were definitely a blessing.

 

No parent of 3 children, 2 of them warlocks, would ever refuse an offer to take them off their hands for an evening.

 

The moment Magnus wrapped his hands around Alec's waist, two sounds came from behind them. Breaking glass and the closing of the front door.

 

"Ah, looks like dad is here."

 

Alec looked conspiratorially at Magnus.

 

"Time to evacuate for the date night."

 

It was grandma's and grandpa's turn to try and slay the three headed Lightwood-Bane dragon.

 

***

 

“I cannot remember the last time we got to enjoy an evening out like this.”

 

Alec hummed, leaning his head on Magnus’ shoulder as they sat on the bench in the park, watching the moon and stars light up over New York.

 

“I can. And it was before Rafael.”   
  


Magnus laughed.

 

“I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

 

“We wouldn’t.”

 

***

 

It’s a perfect evening, until it’s not.

 

It’s anticlimactic.

 

Terrifyingly swift and surreal.

 

It’s a millisecond that changes Alec’s whole world.

 

There’s a shooting on the street when they are walking back home.

 

And even 400 years of immortality, and even the most powerful magic, cannot help a bullet through the head.

 

***

 

As Magnus Bane’s body falls all he can think of is that while he was often afraid of his family leaving him eventually, never before had he thought  _ he _ would leave his family behind.

 

***

 

Mark Parker falls down quietly, leaving this world without pain and without anyone noticing.

 

There is no one who would miss him, no one he won’t come back to.

  
There is no hole left in the fabric universe behind him. It’s swift and brutal, like everything in a war zone. Still body with a hole in the forehead, falling softly onto the soft, hot sand.


	2. Chapter 2

 

“There is no one waiting for me back home, so why do I feel like there is someone I need to come back to?”

 

Josh laughed, affectionately hitting him on the shoulder.

 

“War does that to us. Better stop slacking and get to work, Mark.”

 

***

 

“Alec.”

 

His father’s voice is quiet, barely audible over Alec’s sobs. Robert approaches the bed and when he meets no resistance kneels next to it, kissing Alec on his forehead and holding him.

 

“I want him back, dad.”

 

“I know, my boy. I know.”

 

Robert sighed, not saying anything else, because there was nothing else to say. All he could do was be there, because Magnus wouldn’t anymore.

 

***

 

“Alec, honey. You have to tell them something. Max keeps asking about his papa and Rafael can sense something’s wrong. Madzie didn’t say a word since you left that night.”

 

“But how do I do this, mom? We haven’t even had the immortality discussion yet, you know?” His voice catches. “That was supposed to be our problem - Magnus and Max and Madzie living forever while me and Rafe pass away. And now…”

 

He breaks down crying and Maryse tugs him into her arms, letting his tears fall onto her dress.

 

“He’s not coming back. Life can take cruel twists, son, but you have to be strong. You need to eventually get better - for your children. And for yourself. You know Magnus wouldn’t want you to fall apart like that. You have to stay strong, baby.”

 

Alec just hugged her tighter.

 

***

 

“Daddy, where is papa?”

 

Blueberry had such huge eyes. They always reminded Alec of Magnus’ real ones, different in colour, but so similar in their expression, open and trusting and innocent.

 

“Papa…” Alec swallowed his tears. “Papa’s gone, darlings. Papa fell asleep and he won’t wake up.”

 

Madzie stayed silent, looking down, and Rafael looked at him confused.

 

“Not even if you kiss him?”

 

“No, Rafe. Not even if I kiss him. Papa’s not coming back.” 

 

The tears fell down and a tiny blue hand went to brush them off his cheek, and for the first time in a week he smiled. Weak, broken, but genuine smile.

 

Magnus was dead. But life went on anyway.

 

***

 

Alec felt like he was drowning for weeks. His siblings and his parents were amazing help with kids while he just cried his eyes out in their bed, turning the engagement ring in his hand over and over again, always putting it in the box and back in the drawer, as if Magnus would walk in any moment and Alec could take it out and ask, properly this time.

 

He and Magnus had built something so incredible and pure. They had their little (big) family and they were perfect. They had the life Alec never thought he could have, free of regrets and worry.

 

And yet, if Alec could change one thing before Magnus’ death, he would have proposed. He would marry Magnus, even if they couldn’t marry in gold, he would stand on the rooftop of the building and shout it to the whole New York.

 

Magnus Lightwood-Bane was his.

 

But he could never do this now. Magnus Bane was dead.

 

***

 

They are patrolling the town and Josh is laughing at some joke he made and suddenly a group of local children playing in the street catches Mark’s eyes and the world stops.

 

There is are two boys chasing a smaller girl around, all of them laughing and helping her up when he stumbles and falls.

 

And Mark knows there is no one waiting for him back home.

  
But he feels like he has to come back home to someone...


	3. Chapter 3

 

“Rafe, put that down! Max, no, please... “ Alec finishes off, resigned, and allows Max to smear ketchup all over his face, already knowing a change of clothes will be in order, and instead goes to save Rafe from a seraph dagger that Jace left last evening.

 

The next time he sees him, Jace will be  _ dead _ . 

 

He puts the dagger on the highest bookshelf and barely manages to sit Rafe on the table before the ketchup bottle explodes, Max giggling as the lime green sparkles fade from his fingers.

 

At least Madzie seems to be ignoring the havoc, just sitting in her chair and devouring the pancakes, even with the ketchup stains.

 

Alec reminds himself to breathe and gets the phone to call Catarina.

 

He’s  _ not _ able to do this alone. He needs Magnus. 

 

He wants Magnus back.

 

He wipes a stray tear away and dials. He wants Magnus, but he cannot have him. Magnus is dead and even if it’s hard, Alec will have to get the grasp on the whole single father thing. For his boys and girl.

 

***

 

Josh is talking about his niece back home and Mark looks at the photographs he shows him with confusion. 

 

For some reason he feels like her skin is not dark enough, her hair not as curly as they should be, he feels like she should have a scarf around her neck.

 

Why would he think Josh’s niece should wear a scarf?

 

***

 

There is a rustle, quiet, barely audible, socked feet on the wooden floor, but being a father of three toddlers, Alec is a light sleeper - and it doesn’t get any better now that he has to sleep in a huge bed alone.

 

He opens his eyes and sits up, already knowing who is it.

 

“Madz. Come here, my girl.”

 

Madzie was never good at sleeping through the night. She was abused and deprived of affection, still getting used to the family life when the tragedy stuck. She is now holding onto a stuffed shark Magnus bought her for dear life and looking at Alec from the bedroom door. He smiles and opens his arms and that’s all she needs to run to him, throwing the shark on the bed and climbing next to her dad, burrowing into his chest.

 

“Daddy… I miss papa.”

 

Alec hugs her close to his chest, laying them down in the too big bed in hopes they will be able to catch some sleep anyway.

 

“I know, my girl. I know, I miss him too. But we have to be strong for him. We can do this, my little girl. For papa.”

 

He closes his eyes, feeling a little head nod against his chest and he hides his face in Madzie’s curls. 

 

They can do it.

 

For Magnus.

 

***

 

It’s supposed to be a patrol like every day. 

 

It’s supposed to be safe and boring.

 

But then there’s thunder of an explosion, heat and fire and pain and then there is a scream and then…

 

It’s supposed to be a day like every other.

 

But then the world shakes under the corpse of one of the buildings.

 

It’s supposed to end like it began, Mark and Josh racing each other back to the barracks.

 

But then Josh has to stumble back alone, and fall into the arms of another brother in arms, barely staying conscious.

 

“Mark’s dead…”


	4. Chapter 4

 

***

 

He’s looking at the vast blue of the ocean beneath him and he thinks of blue eyes he so often gets lost in. 

 

Expressive, shining, so full of love, so soft.

 

Something about it breaks his heart, the half memory in the mental picture bringing pain he cannot place. He doesn’t understand anything but he knows he’s heading towards the answers and he won’t stop until he will get them.

 

The vast blue of the ocean reminds him of the loved one’s eyes.

 

But why, if Mark doesn’t know anyone with blue eyes?

 

But why, if Mark never loved anyone?

 

***

 

The sun hits his face, a gentle breeze blowing his hair out of his face, and as he looks at New York it seems familiar.

 

He was never there before, but he can almost recognize those streets, his heart is tugging him in a certain direction, he has no doubt where to turn, where to go.

 

He knows what train to get on, he knows when he needs to get off.

 

He knows and yet can't really pinpoint it.

 

He just knows that he’s doing it right.

 

***

 

He’s sitting in the subway staring at the picture of Josh’s niece on his phone, lost in thought, when an elder lady sits down next to him.

 

“Oh, look at that cutie. Is she yours?”

 

He looks up at her, startled and thinks about his heart doing something strange in his chest.

 

He’s never felt so right and wrong at the same time before…

 

“I… No, she’s a friend’s niece. I don’t really…”

 

He wants to say there’s no one waiting for him but the words refuse to come. It feels like he would be insulting someone by saying so. 

 

“Oh, my boy, it’s fine. You will find someone. What’s your name, young man?”

 

_ Mark _ , he wants to say, but it’s not, is it?

 

His world explodes in white light and finally he understands.

 

***

 

_ Magnus Bane’s body falls softly to the pavement of Brooklyn streets with a barely audible thud, unmoving and empty as the tears of his husband fall on a dirty and bloodied designer jacket and the Magic of the Earth wails. _

 

_ It flows through the air in a powerful current of grief and imbalance, and thunder shakes New York as the sky cries over a man who will be missed. _

 

_ Miles away another body, looking the same and yet so different in a dirty uniform and among the scorched sands, is finally allowed a peaceful rest. _

 

_ And as a lightning net spreads over the world, a storm full of power and emotion, Magic itself vibrates in the air, fixing what’s wrong. _

 

_ But even Magic can't fix everything. _

  
  


**_You will have to find your way back on your own…_ **

  
  


_ But some things just fall into place with just a nudge. Some things, are just meant to be… _

 

***

 

He’s standing in front of the door, his body tense and heart beating rapidly, a still unchanged silver plaque reads “Alexander Lightwood & Magnus Bane” shining even in the dim corridor, as if staring at him.

 

_ Magnus Bane _ .

  
He closes his eyes and knocks.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Alec’s eyes widen as they land on him and his whole posture changes.

 

“Rafe, I will be out for a few minutes, please make sure Max doesn’t break anything.”

 

The Shadowhunter grabs a seraph blade and steps out, closing the door behind him and putting the blade between them.

 

It makes him take a step back, but his eyes are set on the taller man, something inside him breaking, falling apart into a thousand pieces and rearranging themselves.

 

Suddenly it’s all back, it’s all real, almost painfully overwhelming in in its sudden onslaught of emotions and he feels tears falling down his cheeks but he can’t tear his eyes away from the oceans of blue now filled with wariness and distrust.

 

“Alexander…”

 

His voice breaks, and he wants to step forward but the blade is on his chest, keeping him at distance.

 

“Who are you?”

 

Who is he? He knows and it hurts because he has no idea how to do this.

 

“It’s me, Alexander. It’s Magnus.”

 

The eyes he knows so well to be soft and loving are full of anger and pain and Magnus wants to change it.

 

“Magnus is  _ dead _ . What do you want? What are you?”

 

“I…” He has no idea how to explain, how to convince him, how to make it sound less crazy and impossible than it really is. “It’s me, Alec. I know it’s impossible, but it’s real.” The words get stuck in his throat but he swallows and keeps going, never tearing his eyes away from the man he loves. “I know I died. But I’m here. It’s real, Alec. It’s a long and complicated story, one even I don’t understand fully, filled with blanks and parts of it illegal but… Alec, it’s me.”

 

He can see the tears pooling in Alec’s eyes, the desperate need to believe him being pushed down by logic, and he has no idea what to say.

 

He has no idea how to make him believe.

 

“Alec.”

 

“Well, long story or not, better start or make yourself scarce.”

 

“I…” It’s like he’s not sure where to start. “I woke up in a warzone. As Mark Parker… I think, I think he looked like me. And he died the same night but… But he had no one who would miss him. And there were people who would miss me. And the Magic… As crazy as it sounds, the Magic of the Earth, it’s sentient. And it didn’t want me to go. So it...Put me in his place. And I  _ was _ him, for a moment, I was… I was living his life, but it felt wrong, and I felt like I needed to come back somewhere. I just had no idea where. But I knew it’s important. And I just…  _ I knew it’s important _ .”

 

Alec raises his eyebrow and Magnus can see he wants to believe him but he can’t.

 

“So?”

 

“So I faked my death and got on a plane and came here… Not really knowing where I’m going. But then this woman on the subway asked me what’s my name. And I wanted to say Mark… But then I realised I can’t. It’s Magnus. And then I remembered everything. Blue eyes, and soft touches and  _ the love _ , and Rafe, and Max… and Madzie, all of you… I…”

 

He chokes on his own tears, unable to say anything else. He knows it’s been months, he knows it won’t be so easy but suddenly it hits him how close they are, his children just a room away from him, his love standing in front of him and probably assuming he’s a shapeshifter demon.

 

“I’m not the same I was, Alec. I’m a mundane now, and I don’t have magic and I’m not immortal, but it’s still me. I died and I have no idea how or why did I get a chance to come back, but I am not going to throw it away, Alec. It’s me. I still love glitter and talk too much and make overly spicy curry and I love you. I love you, Alexander. How can I prove it to you? How can I show you it’s me?”

 

He sees Alec’s hand shaking where he’s holding a seraph blade, and he hates it, hates how much pain he put them through, hates how he has to bring it back.

 

“Alexander…”

 

“What’s my favourite song?”

 

“Most people would say you don’t have one.” Magnus smiles and fights the urge to come closer. “They would think you’re not a music person, but you are. You don’t have a favourite song, but you love Elvis Presley and Danny Mirror’s tribute to him. Like when we got Max and I was freaking out cause Madzie and Rafe were so much bigger and I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good father to an infant but you comforted me as I cried and then we slow danced in the living room.”

 

Magnus looks Alec in the eyes and he can see the moment he breaks. The seraph blade falls out of his hand and sobs shake his body as he allows Magnus into his space and they embrace, clinging onto each other like that day when they first confessed their love.

 

They found their way back.


	6. Chapter 6

 

“Alec… Can we… Can we come in? Should we? I’ve been dead for months, Alexander. The kids think I’m dead.”

 

Alec looks him deep in the eyes with sympathy and unyielding support.

 

“It will be hard, but we will manage. Madzie and Max are still too small to really understand the concept of death and now that you are back they will forget all about it in a few months. It will be harder for Rafe but he’ll come around. It’s not like you abandoned us on purpose. All that matters is that you’re… miraculously, here.”

 

Magnus wipes a stray tear and nods.

 

“Let’s go in. Please. I need to see them.”

 

Alec holds him as they come through the door, Madzie’s voice coming from the living room.

 

“Daddy, who was that?”

 

Alec keeps Magnus standing as he tenses at the sound of tiny steps on the wooden floors and then the little girl comes to stand before them, stopping suddenly, startled as she sees her dad is not alone.

 

“Hello, sweet pea.”

 

Magnus is honestly proud his voice doesn’t waver as kneels and opens his arms.

 

“It’s me, baby. I’m back, my dearest Madzie.”

 

He sees Madzie look to Alec for reassurance and reminds himself to be patient and understanding as his love squeezes his shoulder comfortingly and nods to their daughter.

 

Madzie slowly comes forward, cautious and oh so brave, but Magnus can see her eyes getting glassy and her lip quiver, so he gently places his hand on her arm and allows her to fall forward into his embrace, sobbing into his shoulder.

 

“Madz, whewe awe you?”

 

Bare flue feet stop in their tracks next and Rafael follows, both boys staring at the picture in front of them. Max shakes himself out of the trance first, running forward and hitting Magnus with full force of his fists. 

 

Magnus shifts Madzie delicately, grabbing his crying son’s hands. 

 

“Hey. Hey, little guy, hitting is bad. You can’t hit your Papa, okay?”

 

Max stops and nods but his eyes are full of tears.

 

“Daddy said you were gone, Papa!”

 

“I know, my Blueberry. I know. I was gone for a while and I was afraid I won’t be able to come back to you but I’m here now. I’m here.”

 

Max doesn’t wait a moment longer, falling into Magnus arms and holding on too tight.

 

Magnus own cheeks are streaked with tears.

 

“Raf? Darling?”

 

He looks at his oldest boy still standing in the doorframe but Rafael just turns around and disappears in his room.

 

Neither of them follows him, choosing to give him space instead, Magnus focusing on two smaller children crying in his arms.

 

It’s long after they put Max and Madzie to bed in their bedroom, because they refused to part with Magnus, that he finally is able to slip out and knock on Rafael’s door.

 

“Go away.”

 

His voice is weak and quiet and it’s obvious he was crying. Magnus ignores his protests and pushes the door open, surprised when they open not without trouble. When he enters he realises the reason, stepping over a small mountain of toys wrapped in blanket and used to barricade the door. Rafe is sitting wrapped in a blanket, his back to the radiator and face hidden in his knees.

 

Magnus slowly lowers himself next to him, but the boy turns away.

 

“Rafael…”

 

“People who die can’t come back!”

 

Magnus takes his hand and turns him so Rafe peeks at him, though still from his hiding in the blanket and he gently tries to explain, though every single word hurts.

 

“People… people don’t, Rafe. And I am so sorry, but they do not. And I died. And I am sorry, I never wanted to leave you, but I was killed and there is nothing that can change that. But this world, Rafe… This is a strange and magical world we live in, baby. It’s why witchlights light up in your and daddy’s hands, why Max is blue and Madzie has gills and I had eyes like Chairman. And sometimes this magic that is the reason for that, it can make miracles. And by a magical miracle, I’m here. I can’t do pretty magic anymore, but it’s me, Rafe.”

 

“Prove it.”

 

Rafe mumbles, having hidden again and closed himself off, as if he wanted to believe but didn’t dare to. He’s so like his father in this moment Magnus’ heart soars and breaks at the same time and he draws Rafe into his arms and buries his nose in the black curls as he whispers.

 

“This blanket is the first thing I bought you as a gift when you came to live with us.”

 

And Rafael melts into his arms, clinging desperately as they both cry.

 

Alec smiles in the doorway, his eyes just as wet.

 

***

 

It takes weeks before Madzie, Max and even Rafe move back into their rooms, and they still sometimes come to the main bedroom, seeking the comfort of Magnus’ embrace, physical reassurance that he’s really there.

 

And if Alec is no longer a child and it’s easier for him to understand the situation, he also clings to Magnus more desperately and keeps looking over his shoulder just to make sure he’s really  _ there _ . 

 

Magnus takes time to adjust too. It’s hard on him, coming to terms with being Magnus but remembering the months of thinking he was Mark. It’s hard to get used to living without magic and the concept of mortality.

 

It’s hard to realise while he’ll be able to spend his life with Alec, he’ll have to leave Max and Madzie behind.

 

He’s immensely glad they will have each other at least.

 

There are a lot of hugs and tears as they tell the rest of the family. Maryse faints when she first sees him and Robert is so stunned he barely manages to catch her.

 

Izzy beats the shit out of Magnus and Simon hugs him a bit longer than necessary.

 

Clary just runs straight to hug him and drags Jace (for once very willing) with her.

 

If Izzy beats the shit out of Magnus, Catarina almost kills him for the third time. But then she clings to him and stays the night at theirs and basically doesn’t let Magnus out of her eyesight, terrified of losing another friend. 

 

She takes over Max’s and Madzie’s magic lessons now that Magnus cannot do it anymore.

 

He still partakes in them, sharing his theoretical knowledge, but he can’t guide them with his own magic like he did before.

 

It takes months. It’s difficult time, full of nightmares, adjusting and painful memories still lingering too close.

 

But eventually, life comes back to normal.

 

***

 

Alec stands on the balcony, overlooking the city, the glass door wide open and the breeze moving the sheer curtains. Lightning crosses the sky painting the horizon in a glowing net, giving Alec a halo that makes him look like an Angel that he partially is.

 

A storm is coming.

 

Magnus comes from behind, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist and burying his face in Alec’s shoulder. He can hear Alec’s smile in his voice.

 

“The kids are asleep?”

 

Magnus just humms committally, too tired to even groan “ _ finally _ ” and reluctantly steps back as he feels Alec turn around to face him. He links their hands, standing in front of each other on the balcony, and suddenly Magnus feels very sappy and cliche, but finds himself not minding at all.

 

There’s something strange in Alec’s eyes, not bad but unusually serious, and as Alec pecks him on the lips and takes a step back, Magnus feels confusion and weird anticipation.

 

And then, another lightning lights up the world as Alec lowers himself on one knee and takes a box out of his pocket.

 

Magnus bites his lip to keep quiet and after a powerful roar of thunder fades Alec smiles at him.

 

“Magnus, when you died, there was only one thing I regretted in our relationship. I had this ring in my bedside table for months before that night and when I lost you the thing I regretted most was that I didn’t get to give it to you. But you came back. And we managed to make it work again. And we’re stronger than ever… So, Magnus Bane, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

 

Magnus feel tears roll down his cheeks as Alec slips the ring onto his finger and then they are both standing and Alec is lifting Magnus up despite his protests and he’s spinning him around and as they kiss, sweet and chaste the rain starts to fall, but neither of them sees anything but each other’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

**Author's Note:**

> I may be starting a lot of multichaps now, but they will eventually be finishing them all. Commenting means you can remind me which I should do.
> 
> And wait, I think I was supposed to say sth else... Explain sth? Apologize for sth? Hm... Nah, must be some weird deja vu.


End file.
